Anti Social

I've been feeling a little anti-social the last couple of days. I've not posted as much as I normally do on the boards, I haven't been calling people and I've just laid low. I don't know what it is - hormones? But the thought of socialising revolts me right now! LOL

Last night hubby and I went to the mall - we had to pick up a few things. I practically begged to go to a smaller, more quiet mall than the big one that's closest to us, but in the end, the big mall won. We get there and within 5 minutes, we've bumped into an old girlfriend of mine. We did the pleasantries and then go on our way and I felt evil. I felt like I barely made an effort to see how she was doing or what was going on in her life. Not 10 minutes later, did we bump into another friend. She was talking away to us and I was struggling to summon up a smile. I felt big, bloated and crummy and I looked terrible too. I'd somehow managed to squeeze myself into my jeans and I was super uncomfortable.

Today I'm seeing my best friend - that I'm looking forward to - but again, it's gonna be at the mall and I'm gonna struggle to find something to wear that's comfortable. Ugh. Hubby tells me we need to go buy me some comfy clothes, but I'm arguing that I'm only gonna get bloated and bigger as time goes on, so we should wait.

I've felt exhausted the last couple of days - despite a good 8-9 hours of sleep at night. And funnily enough, it's been uninterrupted sleep. I guess the dogs and hubby didn't like me not being in bed the night I slept on the couch, resulting in their best behavior. I fell asleep for about 4 hours yesterday afternoon... I was watching Brothers & Sisters (which made me cry) and all of a sudden, I woke up to silence and three sleeping dogs. What? I checked the time and it was 3:45pm. Last time I'd checked the time, it was 11:40am LOL.

Only a few more days to go until our 8 week ultrasound. I'm super excited. I just want to see Sweet Pea and hear the heartbeat. Then I think I'll relax a little.

I think part of the reason I've been more quiet on the boards is because every time I see a post about a miscarriage, it breaks my heart and instills new fear into me. I want to cry for the person - someone I've never even met in real life - and cry for their loss. I want to cry for me too, because I'm so so so scared.

And as much as I complain about my symptoms: the fatigue, constant hunger, bloating, and sore boobs, I welcome them. I get a rush of excitement when hunger pains come on only 1 hour after I ate something. I feel relieved when my boobs hurt. Weird? Probably, but pregnancy makes you weirder than usual.

Speaking of boobs, my boobs have taken on a new fullness, shape and other odd things. My nipples are now unrecognisable - hard, lumpy and more-often-than-not erect. Oh and they're getting bigger. Hubby describes them as 'weird looking'. Wow, I feel sexy LOL.